Internet dating and unmarried women (Q4)

“How do the cultural clashes between the traditional Indian culture and the emergence of technology such as text messaging and internet dating effect romantic relationships in India?”

 

 

In India the use of the internet is still limited to those from the upper class or higher middle class. Those people are also the ones who has come the furthest in handling with the emerging cultural collision. Because of this I will not try to describe my answer in a way that will take in consideration the whole Indian society but instead focus on the phenomena of internet dating and being a single woman from one of the higher classes.

 

 

One important thing to know is that In India the majority of girls get married in the age of 18-22. Therefore the pressure can get huge on unmarried girls when they proceed towards 25 or even their 30^th birthday. Still more and more women from the upper classes wait with marriage to focus on them selves and their careers.

While forced marriages are no longer rampant, community wide pressure are still felt by many. Societal pressure plays a major role in dominating the individual thought process and as a result many women choose getting settled just because it’s the right thing to do.

Marriage, education and having children are all considered milestones in the Indian society. And many people find it very hard to accept a person, especially a woman, being unmarried beyond a certain age. And while the women themselves can be cool with their life and career that doesn’t mean their families or societies will.

And it’s probably not because of ill will or a control demand that families are putting pressure on their daughters. It’s out of concern and for their “own best”.

 

Internet sites has opened a new way to meet people and it’s a way that can be investigated without the parents knowing your dating. It’s also a way to meet people without chaperones and all the fuzz.

It is a vehicle of social change in a country where pre-marital relationships are frowned upon. The availability and accessibility of the Internet offers India’s urban youth the opportunity to meet each another and to converse without fear of being socially rebuked.

It is also so, that because most people marry early it can be hard to find partners availably when you walks towards your thirties. Then internet actually can be a huge help and a good option for many.

And as it says in the article What women wants – “The Internet is also a feminist tool for empowering women who do not see the need of waiting for someone else to arrange their marriage, or for the groom to visit several brides before making his choice. It gives women who until now have not had the opportunity, the choice to make friends from members of the opposite sex, without fear of social rebuttal”.

And because it’s not very hard to write an email and the distance and anonymity on the internet makes the thought of rejection less psychological challenging, it’s not strange that many people are trying it.

 

Some sites also complement their service with match making. From the results of a personality test one are matched together with people that considered to the companies calculations should be suitable partners.

This is interesting when considered that the Indian society still in high extent pair together young people. In this way the Internet now can replaced the traditional matchmaker or communicator in Indian arranged marriages.

The dating sites could now not only be a place for innocent flirts but also a place for recruiting base for mothers and fathers searching for a suitable man for their daughter.

Here they can choose a husband from geographical settlement, age, appearance, income etc. Logically this would be an enormous progress and a more safe way of finding the daughters perfect match. On a dating site you have access to the information of thousands and thousands of potential partners. Here, if anywhere, is the opportunity to make the perfect choice.

Ron Pompei, what’s your thoughts?

Todays question will be about the changes and developments in India right now. The man behind the question (because there’s evidently only men) is no other than Ron Pompei the founder of branding and arkitekt bureaue Pompei A.D, most known for his approach and philosophy on design.

 

-Will India be able to learn from the missteps of the west regarding ecology and education?

-Will they recognize earlier in their economic and social development that material recourses are finite yet human resources, creativity, innovation and expression are infinite?

-Will India achieve a true global conscious that recognizes the unique contribution of all cultures?

 

When writing this it becomes very clear that India is part of a greater system, usually called the world. Because of this it’s hard to look at the things happening in India as separate, rather there contribute to the movement of the world, as well as the changes around influences India.

With a population as big as the Indian there’s of course a lot of knowledge and a lot of wisdom within the borders. A lot of people are highly educated and knows as much about today’s business world and the social development as we do in the west. Therefore this development is far from the one the west has bee through.

Still this conscious is only implemented among few and the big difference is that it’s a total lack of it on the street, when in the west people are very aware in general the common man here do miss that knowledge.

And there’s also the fact that all development has to take its own course and I believe there will always be rocks to stumble upon and gain experience from.

The greatest difference between the ongoing changes here is that these people have the knowledge gained from the missteps of the west as well as the right ones taken. With this in mind this society won’t have to do the same mistakes done by the west but instead there will be other. To totally avoid missteps will be impossible and we should remember that earlier missteps were needed for the western development.

There’s also the difference between learning from observation of other and learning through experience. Some things will have to happen even though the knowledge to avoid them do exist.

Still, India has a huge lead in the way that development methods and technical solutions already been invented and is available to support both social change and new business.

 

After taking your questions in consideration I believe answer them all would make this a very shallow and diffuse text. So rather than it all in one generalised answer I will give you some examples of the ongoing changes and developments.

Whether India in those changes manage to, avoid the missteps of the vest, form a global conscience and/or see the different use of resources remains a question. I’d like to mirror this thought back to you since my picture only captures what’s essential in my world and my knowledge in this area is far too limited to take me beyond what I can see.

 

EDUCATION

      “When I was doing an MBA I initially chose to specialise in human recourses. But I was mocked as a wimp, sissy and knucklehead. So, I switched to marketing.

A nation’s desire to develop, and a individual’s need to succeed, often focus them on acquiring hard skills. That’s why our government favours technical institutes over liberal arts universities and our graduates choose finance, marketing and engineering over HR, design and research.

 

It’s mission, not money, that drives most successful countries, companies and managers.”

Jehangir S Pocha, editor Busiess World India

  

SYSTEMS

Traditionally India companies have had a higher level of tolerance for ambiguity, whereas their counterparts in North America and Europe are used to well-structured systems with lots of transparency and clarity. Indian companies tend to adopt the “we will take it as it comes” stance, which does not go down to well with those being acquired, further causing cultural disturbance.

 

KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT

While companies have to accept that it’s not possible to stop people from shifting jobs, they are learning to bleed without hurting. Organisations are tapping, consolidating and preserving the knowledge that employees bring and add during their tenure. It’s a trend called knowledge management and is fast catching on with the knowledge managers.

The knowledge of KM has been around for over two decades in European and Scandinavian companies, which first identified the perils of losing knowledge within the system, most are mistaking KM merely an information technology offshoot. There is a clear disconnect of what knowledge management means and what the companies has understood it as.

 

BUSINESS CULTURE

It’s estimated that 98 percent of companies in India operate conventional offices, leaving only the rest to experiment with flexible locations and hours.

Yet technology drives this change. Instant messaging and video conferencing assign valuable projects to talented people to prefer working out of their homes. “With the help of technology, our productivity is not affected, as employees can work from their homes yet attend to personal needs, for which they would earlier taken leave.

 

EMPLOYEES

Respect and credibility are today more important than authority and power. Employees today look for work that not only makes remunerative sense but also gives them a sense of purpose, of achievement, of contribution and of leaving a legacy of work well done and values well lived.

 

 

 

Examples taken from discusions in the magazine Business World India

Aswer to the question from Uffe Elbæk

Answer to the question: “What are the living conditions for homosexuals in India. Socially, culturally and politically?”

Homosexuality is a crime in India and that’s an old Colonial law the government won’t abolish. This law forces millions of people to live in lack of legal rights and with a fear for the police.

 

“Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine”.

 

That’s the law and although it’s vague that’s the law used when pointing at homosexuality as something forbidden. According to this law it’s basically the sexual activity between men that’s wrong. And even though it’s not per definition illegal to be lesbian it’s considered as very abnormal.

Homosexuality can refer to sexual attraction, sexual activity between two people of the same sex or a sexual preference. But you could also say that it’s the love towards someone of the same sex and not necessarily the sexual act. If you look at it from that perspective it’s actually not forbidden by law although there’s a huge lack of acceptance within the society.

The punishments for this “crime” range from ten years in prison to lifetime. The hardest punishment though are probably the once from the family and community.

 

Just like in many other issues in this country the living conditions for homosexuals depends a lot on who you are. If you have the money and if you come from the right family you can probably get away with it but if you’re poor you’re on your own.

 

Here in Mumbai I’ve got the impression that there is an active gay community but that it’s very locked and not spoken about. The conditions in the country side is more problematic. There are a lot of homosexuals facing both harassments and violence. At the same time the countryside has its own way of following the law. If a whole village is ok with two people (of the same sex) getting married they can, if the village don’t agree then they can face horrifying consequences.

 

When writing this I’m also thinking of the fact that this is India and that nothing is easy to either compare or explain. It’s a society so far from our own and it’s run by completely different systems.

Just discussing homosexuality is hard because of the fact that people don’t discus sexuality as we do in the western society. You don’t discus it and you won’t see even heterosexual couples express their feelings to each other in public.

And then there’s the fact that marriage comes before love in this country. To get involved with someone of the same sex is not only to break against the conventional way of falling in love it’s also to go against a whole society system.

 

To close this question down I will quote one of the workers at our hotel, who with a confused face looked at me and said:

-It doesn’t exist!

Mick & Mans

Just to make it clear, the latest blog was my answer to the first of the five questions!

India - a view on globalisation

Before I start writing these answers I have to clarify that what’s going to be written is my own reflections upon the things I see and sense in the context I’ve been put into. Therefore these answers can’t speak for the people of India, these answers speak for a young Swedish woman on an outpost in Mumbai.

The economy is growing. The salaries are getting higher, there are more and more jobs and on every level in society the living standards are increasing. Among the rich the wealth is growing rapidly while it in the lower society classes takes more time.

Among most Indians a proper education believes to be the way to happiness and an improved life style. As more people can afford sending their children to higher studies India’s amount of well educated youths are increasing. While the ultimate goal for most of the students is to get a great, well paid job there’re also a lot of other positive effects to it. For example the knowledge of the outside world and the systems running the own country is increasing.

When talking about the education system, Dr Savat, one of the professors on the University of Mumbai has as a vision of getting the university to become one of the worlds 200 best universities in 10 years time. He also believe that India in 20 years time will have the super powers of the world and replace the US. This also seems to be a common belief among people from the higher classes.

Over all there is a feeling of possibilities. International companies are expanding in India and there’s a lot of young people coming to Mumbai to make a career. As the economic are growing you can feel the mix of capitalism and traditions. Right now it’s almost a trend of explaining traditions in the language of capitalism and vice versa. A couple of interesting examples you can find in these two myths below:

1. If you come to work in Mumbai you will never have to sleep hungry.

2. If you make a million in Mumbai and reinvesting it in Mumbai you will make another. If you choose to invest somewhere else though you’ll loose it all.

Another trend that seems to grow is the business connected to social responsibilities. In comparison to the western countries they have a long way to go. Still a lot of larger companies and organizations are working to find ways of making money at the same time as they take care of society issues. To take a great example of this we’ll look at the real a stating business. It’s a huge business here in Mumbai and a lot of people are making a lot of money going in to it. One of the latest trends are rehabilitating of the slum areas around the city. This is a social business witch is disputed. While some say that this is a great way of getting the people in the chantey towns into new buildings other calls this an exploitation and believe that this will make the rich man richer and leave the poor man with nothing left.

How does it work?

Decades ago the people living in the chantey tows got the land from the government to build houses. When the urbanisation got massive more and more people moved into the slums and the buildings grow closer. The idea with the slum rehabilitation is to offer the people owning the land to give it up in exchange for there own apartment in the new build houses. The people with the finances can with other words get land to build upon for free by giving away some apartments. The apartments that’s left they can than sell off, making money. But to do this they have to get approval from 70 percent of the people living in the area. This is a problem when most people have their business on ground level and lives on the second floor. If moving into an apartment they cannot keep there business going and risk loosing their income. Another problem is that some businesses and families own great amounts of land and would by taking part in this give away a lot more than they would gain. So it’s a difficult situation and it’s making the rehabilitation of the chantey towns slow.

As I said in the beginning things are happening on all levels and as with every change some people will gain on it while others will risk losing.

Saving the world through movies

Time to present the ongoing project. PANGEA DAY 

With a board of people like Bob Geldorf, Philippe Starck and Cameron Diaz as the well known names and faces out towards the world, and with a team of nine Kaospilots in Mumbai this will be spectacular.

The project taps the power of film to strengthen tolerance and compassion while uniting millions of people to build a better future.

In this world people are divided by borders, difference, and conflict. Pangea Day seeks to overcome that - to help people see themselves in others - through the power of film.

On May 10 six cities (Cairo, Kigali, London, Los Angeles, Rio de Janeiro and Mumbai will be videoconferenced live to produce a program of powerful films, visionary speakers, and uplifting music.

By broadcastig it live through the Internet, television, digital cinemas, and mobile phones it will be available for all the world to see.

We know thar movies alone can’t change the world. But the thought is that the people who watch them can.

Two month to go!

 

Do you have the answer?

How are India’s people handling the country’s transition into a growing world economic power?

Do they feel any change in their status in the world?

Is there more economic equity among the people as India’s economic performance grows?

The process…

Yesterday during the re-organisation meeting it was decided that we should slope the process focus. Personally I think the process it’s one of the most important things during an outpost and therefore I’m sceptic to this decision. At the same time I stand behind the decision that is taken by our project leader on behalf of the team and I know that as long as the team can’t see the meaning of a process orientation it’s impossible to have one.

The perfect get-away

Yesterday evening we had our first common dinner as a whole team. We went up on a terrace here in Colaba and a new world just showed itself. From the roof you could see the city in night light, dark and colourful, energetic but distant and quiet.People sat in various sized groups around tables as well as in sofas and on large cushions on the floor. The food was brilliant and so was the lassi, especially the saffron tasting one.

Because of the height, the air was easier to breathe and instead of the pollution you could sense an aromatic smell from all the water pipes.

 I knew instantly that this place will be a perfect get-away. A place to connect with the inner self and a place for reflecting.

Sunday Brunch - business meets beauty

Yesterday me and some of my team mates attended a brunch hosted by the organisation A Small World. It’s a world wide forum founded by the Swede Eric Wachtmeister as a private online community for like-minded individuals. A Small World offers its members trusted and selected information. It can be everything from travel suggestions, listings of events around the world, city-based resources to tips of employments. Members range from entrepreneurial and business opinion makers to leaders in media, entertainment, fashion, the arts and sports.

We met some real estate agents (and got invited to a San’t Patrics Day celebration), some web-guys, a couple of filmmakers, a man who’s thinking of starting up the Kaospilot program in Mumbai and a bunch of other interesting people. Actually we got invited to a lot of things, filmsettings, parties, dinners etc.

And (even though this gathering of people was more than enough to make my day) the brunch was held at the Salt Water Grill, a place just on the sea side. It looked like a picture of a luxury resort cut out from some glorious travel magazine.

There were five chefs making food of our choice just in front of us, grills with everything from beef and chicken to fish and prawns, dishes with various courses of food, cheeses, biscuits and a table dedicated especially for the desserts. And there were alcohol of all sorts, from the sweetest beers, finest vines and most smoky whiskeys to daiquiris, mojitos and champagne. It just felt like playing in a locked area for some hours.